Mom: A quick reaction unit

In a mad attempt to finish my work before Christmas I have taken a moment to assess the detritus on my desk. Aside from the requisite PC screen, tower, scanner, printer, keyboard, UPS and speakers, I have:

• 1 x Sony Z1 movie camera to play interview footage for research.
• 2 x useless Comrades Marathon running magazines. To be returned (with thanks).
• A sheaf of emails relating to the status of the para training of the Rhodesian African Rifles.
• 3 x tea cups – sadly empty.
• 12 x tapes, not in order, with hours of interview footage for research purposes, now all in the incorrect boxes thus I now have no clue what's on which tape.
• 1 x notebook including notes on everything from the beginnings of the Police Anti-Terrorist Unit to the contact details of all the butcheries in town.
• Application forms to register an NGO.
• Said NGOs working constitution.
• 12 x books, all large format on the Rhodesian bush war, ranging from books on individual regiments to memoirs to complete histories.
• Empty toilet rolls to make 'binoculars' for the game reserve camping holiday we have planned.
• 2 x A2 sheets of paper with notes, sketches and other information pertaining to the book I am writing.

... or trying to write.

As I zoom out the playroom floor has mysteriously disappeared in a cornucopia of building blocks, Christmas food parcels, tea sets, musical instruments, crayons, puzzle piece, play dough ... and this to the ever-increasing wailing of two young children fighting over a wind-up dog, the kind you put on a pencil: the head on the front and the tail at the back, then you wind it up and it walks. They don't have a pencil, just a head and a tail.

As I get my facts straight about the first Fire Force jump from Buffalo Range by the Rhodesian SAS on 22 September 1976 (?) the wailing has turned into a full-blown fight and they are at my chair, each brandishing half a dog.

Any parenting book will tell you that by getting cross and shouting you are merely adding another tantrum to the mix, well sod that, a short, sharp few word, swift discipline, each to their own naughty corner and now ... the sweet sounds of a happy game in progress down the passage.
... and me? Back to Fire Force: a complete vertical envelopment of the enemy, encircle it entirely and, very quickly with highly-trained, highly-motivated and highly-disciplined troops ... MOM!