The Little Red Number

You're pushing 40, you've known your husband almost half your life, you have two children, a bond and an SUV. What you no longer have is a sexy wardrobe; it's practical, sensible, user friendly and comes in a variety of shades that just about conceal most food types and bodily fluids.
Of course this isn't true for all, I gawk at 'Paris Fashion Week Mom' every morning I drop my daughter at playgroup. But I'm a hands-on, outdoorsy mom and anything tight, short, low-cut, lacy or racy no longer occupies space on a hanger.
In my twenties I could open my cupboard and do anything from a modern Scarlett O'Hara to Scarlett Johansson (without the lips). So when your tenth wedding anniversary comes up and there is literally nothing I can buy my husband that is romantic, pricey and comes in a box I'm forced to think out of that proverbial box.
Ha! I will be the gift. I will be Julia Roberts sitting at the bar counter somewhat nervous but oozing sexy in that racy, lacy, low-cut, short, heeled little number. But I'll see her and raise her one, mine will be RED. Yes, red; the colour of love, the colour of passion, the colour my husband has never seen me in, the colour I don't have.
I live in a small town – news travels fast – so I ask two girlfriends for help, both refer me to 'Little Miss Perfect'. Groan and horror. The mom that makes all other moms feel totally inadequate; the one who remembers to put a jersey in her child's bag, remembers which days are swimming days, coin laying days, cancer sprayathon days, funny hat days and every other possible day schools can come up with to make most moms spin. But not this one; she's composed, a hint of makeup, her hair is clean and blow dried, she works full time and I bet has that Stepford Wife gourmet meal ready in the evening as she tenderly kisses her successful husband hello, and no doubt is a ... in the bedroom. Her kids eat their vegetables without threats of imminent extermination and colour in the lines.
We couldn't be more different so we acknowledge each other from a distance, greet when we must but are pleasant at close quarters, as I said, it's a small town. Turns out she's the only one in this small town who actually may just have the Little Red Number I'm looking for.
Why don't I just buy one? For all the reasons above.
We have never celebrated our anniversary, we seldom even remember it. But this is a round number and I just know he's bought me something romantic and pricey that comes in a box. So I'm determined and will not be swayed. (Fortunately we don't have to meet at the Wimpy, there is a larger town a little distance away.)
He'll receive a mysterious note to meet me at (tbc) and there I'll be, waiting, gorgeous, more beautiful that the day he first saw me .. a full night's sleep and slightly later than 5am start permitting.